Wednesday, January 28, 2009

This is why I don't bake bread...

Every couple of years I have a spell of amnesia and forget that I lack the ability to make homemade bread. I get all excited and spend hours checking out recipes and deciding just which bread I will bake. Glassy eyed with anticipation, I imagine the accolades from family members as they sink their teeth into their first crusty/chewy bite. I purchase yeast with pride, knowing that everyone in line behind me at the grocery store is highly envious of this obviously seasoned baker in front of them.

On the day of the big event, I go to great lengths to ensure success. All ingredients are carefully measured and liquids are heated to the exact temperature. Knead and rise times are followed as instructed. Lovely little loaves go into the oven and I sit back and wait, thoroughly enjoying that smell that only baking yeast bread can emit.

And then it's time to take my precious baked babies out of the oven to cool and admire. I'm giddy as I open the oven door.

Here they are..... shortly before I plopped the little brick bastards into the trash.


10 comments:

Bob said...

"Little Brick Bastards"? What an endearing term! Mags, are you okay?

Good thing I wasn't munching while reading the last sentence, I would have surely choked to death while lmao.

I have a website and a related YouTube Channel I'll post in a blog just for you. While I can't promise you the success you're dreaming of, I think you may find it ejoyable....? perhaps just prior to the next amnesia attack.:)

You certainly have a way with words. Nice blog!

Bob from Both

Mags said...

lol...yeah, I'm OK. Just disappointed and disgusted that I cannot figure out the trick to making homemade bread, not to mention the time and money I wasted today.

I look forward to your youtube post.

Bob said...

Lynn especially recalls the first early bricks. When we later moved to Williams Az, 6,800 feet elevation, the litte bastards returned, she called her first high elevation biscuits "hockey pucks", lol.
High elevation cooking took a bit of research,adjustments and local tips.

I'll get the blog posted for your morning perusal.:)

Anonymous said...

I laughed till the tears rolled down my face. I tried making bread and felt the same as you untill I took it out of the oven, Little brick bastards indeed ! three times I tried at different times, without success.
I have never tried since, and never will in the future. I leave that to the dedicated cooks! My first pizza's were the same , My husband nailed one up on the wall as a momento of my efforts! A great Blog that I can relate to.

Mags said...

lol.. no... no! don't give up! you too can prove you're not an utter failure in the yeast-baking department! I've proven myself wrong... so can you?

Annie said...

I am sorry Mags, I should have left my name,"Annie"..... I will figure this out , Bob has told me enough times ! !

My other half just loves homemade bread, and has threatened to get a breadmaking thingie. I will have one last attempt, following all the advice given. Deep breath, so wish me luck !

Mags said...

lol annie... let me know how it all works out.

HoneyB said...

Well, I certainly must say you have come a long way since this post (with your bread making!) Can you tell I've been reading your blog all afternoon? LOL

Mags said...

LOL HoneyB.... I'm glad you're enjoying my blog. Keep reading!

Nanan said...

tears of laughter hehehehehe