You thought this was going to be a beer bread recipe, didn't you?
By Guinness bread I mean BIG bread. Extremely ginormous, world-record-breaking bread.
And of course it was an accident. I would never purposely make a loaf of bread that I'd have to buy a plus-size toaster for. This monstrosity was merely the result of a failed sourdough recipe. And on that note, please know that I've given up on ever making sourdough again. I admit defeat.
After lovingly caring for a sourdough starter for two weeks, I picked yesterday as the "big day" to make my very first loaf of sourdough bread. The bread recipe matters not here, as it will never be repeated. After mixing and kneading the ingredients yesterday morning, I left my lovely dough to rise while I went about my daily business. Ten hours later, it hadn't risen ONE INCH. Nothing, nada, zip.
What to do? Toss it? Well, before I could let myself throw it into the trash, I decided to toss it back into the mixing bowl and add some instant yeast. A few more minutes of Kitchen Aid kneading, and back into the bowl to see if it would rise.
It bubbled, and swelled, and rose past dimensions of any other dough I've worked with thus far. It took on a life of its own, and I found myself keeping the dog away from it, fearing that it would suck him up for fuel. I was roasting vegetables in the oven at the time the dough had reached its doubled size (thus prolonging the life of the yeast beast even further,) so by the time the loaf hit the oven, it was oozing over the sides of the bread pan.
Forty minutes later, I removed my freak show from the oven. While I waited for it to cool, I gassed up the chain saw because I knew I didn't have a big enough knife to slice through the larger-than-life loaf.
Lord Of The Facepalms
21 hours ago