This is a true story. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Sally is a nice enough lady, considered a tad neurotic by some, but generally well liked among family and friends. She is thoughtful and kind and works hard to please those she cares about. Sally spends her days flitting about her kitchen, cooking and baking with passion and sharing her finished baked goods with those around her. She often sends a plate of goodies with her husband to share with the others he works with.
One particular Thursday morning, Sally got out her mixer at the crack of dawn. An internet recipe for zucchini cupcakes had caught her eye the day before and she couldn't wait to use a zucchini she'd saved for just this recipe. Sally preheated the oven to 350 degrees then set about measuring her flour, sugar, and oil. As she was filling her measuring cup with the correct amount of water, the telephone rang and Sally finished stirring together the cupcakes while she chatted on the phone. The cupcakes went into the oven and Sally headed to the computer, coffee in hand, to check her email. When the timer went off, she dutifully tested the cupcakes with a toothpick and noticed that they were more than just a tad bit runny. "No problem," Sally thought to herself. "I'll just leave them in a few minutes longer." Twenty minutes passes and our gal Sal has to accept the fact that she's royally screwed up this recipe somehow. As she recalls the sequence of the morning's events, she remembers that she'd been too freaking busy yacking on the phone to notice she'd used a two-cup measuring cup instead of a one-cup when she'd added the water to her batter.
Obviously inept at measuring but always a thinker on her feet, Sally decides to toss together a quick batch of brownies for hubby to take to work in the morrow. After all, she can't send him empty handed. A recipe for Paula Deen's Symphony brownies comes to mind and Sally admits to herself that these will go over better than those stupid zucchini cupcakes anyway.
She heads off to Walmart to purchase Symphony candy bars, brownie mixes, eggs, and a few other sundries and hurries home to begin baking again. As Sally unpacks her grocery bags she notices that some of the items she purchased are missing. A hint of a swear word delicately passes Sally's lips when she realizes that she's left a bag on the carousel at Walmart. She immediately drives back to the store fully expecting the missing bag to still be at checkout #9. The cashier recognizes her at once and knows exactly what she's there for. All Sally needs to do is go shop for those missing items again and when she returns to checkout #9, nice cashier lady will compare those items to the receipt and Sally could once again be on her way.
Sally lets a tiny cuss-bomb escape when she realizes that the receipt is back at home, already mingling with the coffee grounds in the garbage can, but she lightly spins on her heels and heads back home to retrieve it.
It appears that the employees at Walmart are timely at returning unpurchased grocery items to their shelves, for when Sally returns to the store for the third time, she must once again traipse through the store to fetch her eggs and Symphony bars. At this point, our normally level-headed Sally is now swearing at full speed. And she's walking as fast as she's cussing. Her left flip-flop catches on the floor tile and the eggs that Sally is cradling in her arm go flying.
Sally's drinking wine now. The brownies eventually got made. They were runny in the center. The gang at work got the outer edges and Sally called it a day.
This is a Paula Deen recipe. You can find it here.
This is my documentation of my life after turning 50. Lots of recipes, some healthy, some not so much... tossed up with a hefty dose of sarcasm and motherly love.
My email address: maggielauerrdh(at)yahoo.com