Thursday, August 6, 2009

Symphony Brownies (Treats For Co-Irkers)

This is a true story. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Sally is a nice enough lady, considered a tad neurotic by some, but generally well liked among family and friends. She is thoughtful and kind and works hard to please those she cares about. Sally spends her days flitting about her kitchen, cooking and baking with passion and sharing her finished baked goods with those around her. She often sends a plate of goodies with her husband to share with the others he works with.

One particular Thursday morning, Sally got out her mixer at the crack of dawn. An internet recipe for zucchini cupcakes had caught her eye the day before and she couldn't wait to use a zucchini she'd saved for just this recipe. Sally preheated the oven to 350 degrees then set about measuring her flour, sugar, and oil. As she was filling her measuring cup with the correct amount of water, the telephone rang and Sally finished stirring together the cupcakes while she chatted on the phone. The cupcakes went into the oven and Sally headed to the computer, coffee in hand, to check her email. When the timer went off, she dutifully tested the cupcakes with a toothpick and noticed that they were more than just a tad bit runny. "No problem," Sally thought to herself. "I'll just leave them in a few minutes longer." Twenty minutes passes and our gal Sal has to accept the fact that she's royally screwed up this recipe somehow. As she recalls the sequence of the morning's events, she remembers that she'd been too freaking busy yacking on the phone to notice she'd used a two-cup measuring cup instead of a one-cup when she'd added the water to her batter.

Obviously inept at measuring but always a thinker on her feet, Sally decides to toss together a quick batch of brownies for hubby to take to work in the morrow. After all, she can't send him empty handed. A recipe for Paula Deen's Symphony brownies comes to mind and Sally admits to herself that these will go over better than those stupid zucchini cupcakes anyway.

She heads off to Walmart to purchase Symphony candy bars, brownie mixes, eggs, and a few other sundries and hurries home to begin baking again. As Sally unpacks her grocery bags she notices that some of the items she purchased are missing. A hint of a swear word delicately passes Sally's lips when she realizes that she's left a bag on the carousel at Walmart. She immediately drives back to the store fully expecting the missing bag to still be at checkout #9. The cashier recognizes her at once and knows exactly what she's there for. All Sally needs to do is go shop for those missing items again and when she returns to checkout #9, nice cashier lady will compare those items to the receipt and Sally could once again be on her way.

Sally lets a tiny cuss-bomb escape when she realizes that the receipt is back at home, already mingling with the coffee grounds in the garbage can, but she lightly spins on her heels and heads back home to retrieve it.

It appears that the employees at Walmart are timely at returning unpurchased grocery items to their shelves, for when Sally returns to the store for the third time, she must once again traipse through the store to fetch her eggs and Symphony bars. At this point, our normally level-headed Sally is now swearing at full speed. And she's walking as fast as she's cussing. Her left flip-flop catches on the floor tile and the eggs that Sally is cradling in her arm go flying.

Fast forward.

Sally's drinking wine now. The brownies eventually got made. They were runny in the center. The gang at work got the outer edges and Sally called it a day.

The end.

This is a Paula Deen recipe. You can find it here.


John said...

Great blog, Maggie : ) Seriously! witty as always...and I'm not just seeking brownie points

Barbara Bakes said...

LOL! I think we've all had days like yours...I mean Sally's! Great idea of the brownies!

coffeegrounded said...

That gal, Sal, is a wonderful pal....or would be, should I meet her. Her sense of humor, and her candor for cuzzing is spot-on enjoyment. I should know, I slipped on those darned eggs as they flew and skidded clear across the dairy aisle, eventually careening into the milk freezer.

Call me, the attorney says we should learn to be REAL good friends, and if that fizzles, we can at least enjoy our nest 'egg'.


I love your blog!!!

Mags said...

John... go Browns! May Bernie forever be #1 on your score card and #1 in your heart as well.

Barbara: I take such consolation in knowing that there are others out there who have flops in the kitchen... and so I thank you.

Coffee: Those who can, cook. Those who can't, cuss about those who Thanks for your wonderful comments. So sorry you slipped on my yolks in the dairy aisle. Our attorneys will meet, they'll do lunch. I'll cook.

Lauren said...

Sounds like a rough day! Glad the brownies worked out. :) They look fabulous!

Mags said...

Thanks Lauren!

Moogie said...

Welcome to my world Mags ... I mean Sally.

Liesl said...

Oh my gosh, I have been making these brownies for years...I didn't even know Paula had made them!!! They are delicious!

Anonymous said...

Great Story! I had to follow the link from your comment on my wife's blog regarding the steak and the grill marks, (It's the first comment about something I did.) and was rewarded with a great story that started my day at work with a belly laugh.

"The big guy" AKA Gman

June said...

Sal has my sympathy, but she sure as heck made me laugh today. Three trips to Walmart in one day has got to be pure torture! Love the brownies though. I've never been able to make them cause they always turn out like hockey pucks, but I'll sure give these a try.

stephchows said...

Sally held her sh@t together much better than this little girl would have!

Il Duche said...

Most excellent shopping experience - especially the cursing. I'm an admitted bomb dropper!

The brownies? I'm going to have to make them when I go back to work in two weeks.

Mags said...

Moogie: Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed, does it.

Liesl: I know, aren't they good! And ridiculously easy if you don't count three trips to

Big guy Gman: Glad you got a chuckle out of it! Your wife has one awesome blog.

June: I feel your hockey puck pain. Mine are either hard as a rock or runny in the middle.

Steph: LOL! I felt like sh@t at the end of the day.

Duche: Cheers to a fellow bomb dropper!