Saturday, February 5, 2011

Ice, Ice Baby

Mother Nature (like all good mothers) needs us to know who's in charge. At the same time that she's laying the groundwork of feminine strength and beauty.....

....she's making sure we know that after the loveliness comes the reality. Clean-up detail.... just like life, eh?

A little ice storm suspense story for you, starring yours truly. (I will be SHOCKED if someone doesn't make this into a movie with Kathy Bates playing the role of moi and Lassie (# 247) starring in the role of Sloopy, the dog who cannot walk on ice. (Many will audition, but only one will have what it takes.)

The set: Tuesday morning, 6:00 a.m. Sloopy the Stupie (oh relax, we already have him in therapy) decides he needs to do his business. I let him out the back door of the deck. My view of the world is an ice sheet. I can only imagine what Sloopy was thinking other than the fact that he had to pee like a racehorse. I heard him round the corner to the deck steps, then heard the thud, and knew immediately that he'd slid down the steps to his little toilet corner of our fenced yard. I made coffee (truth), walked 5 miles on the treadmill (lie), then listened for him to want to come back in. Instead of his impatient bark, "hey, I own you at all times, so let me in," I heard his yip,"hey, I've gotten myself into a bit of a pickle and I need you to get me out."

I knew immediately what had happened. He'd fallen down the deck stairs and couldn't get back up. Hindsight, which will always remain 20/20, reminded me to get him one of those necklaces that shouts, "I've fallen and I can't get up!" Of course, I did what every strong woman would do when faced with such a situation. I called hubby at work. I can't go into detail here about what he said for me to do, but I knew IMMEDIATELY that it was up to me to save the dog. So I put on my big parka and gloves, stuck my cell phone in my coat pocket so I could call 911 when I broke my hip, and I rescued my dog. (Eat that, Lassie.... you ain't all that)

Tonight, as I'm layed up in the hospital with two broken hips (I lie,) I thank God that Sloopy lives and that I had the opportunity to tell this tale.

(All agents please contact my email address for rights to this story.)

12 comments:

Sherry said...

Poor Sloopy. What a traumatic experience!

Pam said...

Did Sloopy have time to contemplate how pretty the ice was?

Kat said...

You're funny!

M.J. Jacobsen said...

Heh heh!!!!

Karen said...

Hahah!

Shelby said...

lol, at you, not Sloopy. lol... Sorry. Poor Sloopy. I'm kinda surprised you didn't dedicate "Sloopy hang on" to him. lol That could be the theme song to the movie they make about this....but I want the credit. ha ha.

Moogie said...

Mags.... what a scary "tail" you weave. I feared for Sloopy. With you laying at the foot of the icy stairs, your life slowly ebbing away. Poor Sloopy would have been tramatized.

Laurie@The Baking Bookworm said...

Mags you are a true hero. In the face of true adversity you reign supreme. Sloopy will be indebted to you for life ... or at least until something else grabs his attention. Whichever comes first. ;) Here's hoping Ron Howard and Steven Spielberg fight over the movie rights. :)

Barbara said...

Poor thing. Sometimes we have to give our all for our pets! :)
I had a friend who had her (large) dog on a leash and he took off after a squirrel and she went face first into the pavement. Not fun. Lost teeth too. What a nightmare.

June said...

Yikes Mags but it sure is pretty!

Nanan said...

Now that there is a funny story! The question is: Did Sloopy go outside the NEXT time he needed to pee?

stephchows said...

LOL ok that made my morning brighten up, hilarious rendition :)