Cancer is one of those diseases that does not respect age. It if did, it would only affect the elderly and it would leave the little children, teenagers, nursing mothers, middle aged cougars (cough.. cough) and newly retired folks alone.
Here's how it's supposed to go down. You're born. You toddle and tyke and pee your pants. You go to school.... 12 or more years. You marry (or not) You find your niche in the working world. You curse and swear yourself through those WAY TOO LONG WORKING YEARS. And then? Oh man.... it's heaven on earth, spelled R-E-T-I-R-E-M-E-N-T. And for those of us who wear wine-soaked rose colored glasses, we assume that those retirement years are meant to be spent in bliss. Travel. Grandchildren... Great-grandchildren if you were a early procreator (you know who you are.)
I lost my oldest brother Steve to melanoma today. Melanoma.... I laughed at your supposed danger. You're only skin cancer, you little freak. Melanoma I hate you. You deceived me and the sunscreen I wore forever. You don't give a rat's ass who you attack or how you metastasize through lungs and brains. You suck.
Breast cancer... listen up bitch. You're a pussy. I AM NOT going to go through what my brother went through. You can just SUCK IT. Find some 95 year old woman to affect..... or better yet, just die off yourself. You're not wanted here. CANCER, WE FREAKING HATE YOU.
Steve's obituary can be found here: http://www.leppertmortuary.com/services.aspx?ID=1638
This is my documentation of my life after turning 50. Lots of recipes, some healthy, some not so much... tossed up with a hefty dose of sarcasm and motherly love.
My email address: maggielauerrdh(at)yahoo.com