Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Chewy Tri-Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies

Do you want the good news or the bad news first?

I like to start out in the depths of despair and then end up hanging the moon. So in the interest of breaking you down before miraculously building you back up again, I shall start with the less-than-perfect nutritional information for this recipe. These are NOT low fat, low calorie or low sugar cookies. Wait! STAY!!

Quickly....before the shackles of nutritional depression take permanent hold, let me share with you the good news about this recipe. And then you shall love me once again. Swears.

First of all, by using the Pythagorean Theorem and Newton's Law of Gravity, I have established that these cookies are 80% whole grain. Don't hold me to my calculations or take me to court over it however. Do your own homework but for the love of Mike, do NOT use pi in the equation at any time or you'll screw up the nutritional info entirely (it's because of the crust, you know.)

Secondly, the use of dark and bittersweet chocolate makes these cookies high in flavoniods. I don't make these words up folks, I promise. Why would I use a word that sounds like a second-cousin-once-removed from hemorrhoids? But I digress. Flavoniods keep cholesterol from gathering in blood vessels, reduce the risk of blood clots, and slow down the immune responses that lead to clogged arteries. Have I reassured you that these cookies are OK to eat? I hope so, because they're mighty tasty.

Chewy Tri-Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies (makes about 6 dozen)

1 1/2 cups butter-flavored vegetable shortening (I used butter-flavored Crisco)
2 2/3 cups (packed) light brown sugar
4 large eggs, beaten
2 tsp vanilla
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
3 1/2 cups oatmeal
8 oz. bittersweet chocolate, grated
8 oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips
8 oz. milk chocolate chunks

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In medium bowl, combine flours, baking soda and salt. Set aside.

In large mixing bowl, beat shortening and brown sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Scrape down beaters. Beat in the flour mixture. Slowly add in the oatmeal on lowest setting. Stir in all the chocolate by hand.

Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheets. Bake for 10-12 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool on baking sheets for a minute or two before removing to a cooling rack to cool completely.

P.S. Thanks for hanging in there with me. It felt REALLY REALLY good to bake and blog today.


Emily Suess said...

I'm pinning these for later. They look so good!

Anonymous said...

LOVE your blog.

June said...

So GREAT to see you baking and blogging! Something tells me these cookies are well worth the wait. Hugs Mags and thanks for the laughs too!

thisoldbroad said...

Welcome back!

These cookies look so good, I've never tried whole wheat pastry flour - but for you I'll buy some. xo

Lyndsey said...

They look like the perfect cookie to me. I wish I could reach in and grab one.

The Mom Chef said...

It felt really, really good to see your baking and blogging! And, it's nice to see your humor back at peak. You had me giggling. And drooling. The drool is over the cookies. They look delicious.

Pam said...

Pass the plate, please! They look delicious! Great to see you back here. Hugs

Shelby said...

Every post I read of yours the thought goes through my head "she has got to be some sort of relation to me". ;o)

Janet said...

You've convinced me! These must good for me - and yummy too!

Bizzy B. Bakes said...

You did good and you did well. These are great cookies.

Jen @ My Kitchen Addiction said...

These cookies look amazing... and, I love your calculations to determine the whole grain. :)

Kat said...

Your photos are great!

stephchows said...

mm healthy are not I like your reasoning!!

Laurie@The Baking Bookworm said...

You had me at 'they're not healthy'. ;) These look wonderful, Mags. We're on a total oatmeal cookie kick at the moment. We'll give these a go this weekend. Thanks.

SeattleDee said...

It was a double treat to read this new post and hear the humor back in your writing voice. My latest baking "adventure" also featured chocolate chip cookies - with bacon no less. Not healthy and not what I had expected, but they were fun to mess with.

Donalyn said...

Mmmmm - great looking recipe Mags!

'Le ricette dell'Amore Vero' di Claudia Annie said...

wooooooooooow che delizia! complimenti, un bacio :)
ps: ho realizzato un nuovo concorso "Fashion Food": in premio 100 euro di shopping! Ti aspetto :)

dryvnabngo said...

Just stumbled upon your quite-entertaining blog! Since I love to cook, I anticipate chuckling aloud while baking :)

dp said...

I made these for our company bake sale a fundraiser for pediatric cancer research and they are a hit. Thanks for posting the recipe and I am glad you are doing okay.

Anonymous said...

Ok- I love you and want to have your babies! Ok, I too am over 50 and do not lead an alternative lifestyle but these cookies look so good! I should have stopped surfing your site at the Zucchini Casserole to Die For! My Bunko group will love me this month. (I only host it once a year- but the pressure!) :-)