Friday, May 25, 2012

Fifty Shades of Disgust

I haven't written a weekend whine for quite awhile and felt it was about time to not only up the quantity of whines, but get something off of my chest that has nothing to do with breast cancer. 'Bout time, eh?

See that? Have you read it? Have you heard about it? Relax if you haven't read it and plan to, as I have no intention of spoiling your fun by giving away the plot. I'm merely posting my (re)view here as a way to vent my disgust.

First of all, let me explain that I am a rapacious reader. You don't learn to use words like "rapacious" if you're not (vainglorious much Mags? OK, now I'm just showing off and proving that I know how to use a thesaurus.) I am on a constant lookout for new authors and also classics that I may have missed along the way. Nothing tickles me more than picking up a book and not being able to put it down until it is finished (along with the ubiquitous bag of peanut M&M's.) It will come as no surprise to you then, that I am also quick to jump at the chance to read books that are recommended to me by others. I'm not going to name any names here, because I don't want to get "her" in trouble, but let's leave it at the fact that I can't blame her for passing along something she hadn't researched, because I didn't do my research either. It has been said of her and me "What one doesn't think of, the other one won't either." Nuff said.

Fifty Shades of Gray makes me angry. I simply cannot understand how it achieved the status is has. It is erotica/porn, and not that erotica/porn isn't a legitimate genre for those who enjoy reading such chit, I just feel that this book is being bought and read by millions of people who would never even think of reading erotica/porn, myself included. I succumbed to the hype, including such propaganda as "this book is going to save your marriage" and "your love life will be changed forever." Now don't get me wrong, I do realize that being on the other side of 50 puts me into the hormonally challenged group, and for all intents and purposes, I have become not unlike the Mohave desert 'down there' (TMI?) However, I just think a spade needs to be called a spade and not "best-seller" literature. It's freaking porn people! AND.... (ok, maybe a little spoiler alert here) it's sick porn, which I believe is the worst kind, if there are varying degrees, that is. My apologies to those of you who believe that the infliction of pain can be in any way a "normal" type of sexual expression. I just happen to think it's perversion.

Fifty Shades of Gray is part of a trilogy. I have no intention of reading two and three.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

It's A (For)Giveaway!

I know.... I KNOW! I haven't posted in like FOREVER! And now I waltz in here and expect you guys to just look at me!!... look at me!!! OK, first of all, I truly have missed you all. I even dream about you because I miss you so much. Oh relax... everyone always has their clothes on and nobody's missing any teeth. Secondly, I'm having a giveaway, so you'll all forgive me for my leave of senses absence, yes? Think of it as a forgiveaway. (You still love me.... I know you do.)

I haven't been posting because I haven't been cooking. I'm eating chocolate. Seriously. Just chocolate. But it's dark chocolate so it's good for me (you know, like red wine?) Anyway, when I saw this idea on Facebook, I decided to expand my daily chocolate repertoire to include bags of chocolate chips because now I can literally pour them into my mouth from a bottle (you know, like red wine?) Some day I WILL think of something this brilliant. Swears.

OK.... back to that giveaway. I was fortunate enough to receive the most wonderful product to try, ChicWrap plastic wrap. I do realize that it seems a little ridiculous to get so fired up about a box of plastic wrap, but if that chocolate chip bottle idea made me giddy, I'm telling you that this plastic wrap box positively made me SQUEAL and SWOON. (I think I may have even experienced my very first SQUEAOON.) I love the design selections offered for ChicWrap, but I'm secretly in love with the design concept itself. It's refillable! That makes it a thousand times better than a Kleenex box, but what you're really going to dig is the plastic wrap itself. It's professional grade. It's like falling in love with plastic wrap all over again. And don't tell me you don't remember your first time.

All you have to do to enter into a drawing for a box of ChicWrap is visit the ChicWrap website, browse around a bit to find your favorite pattern, and then leave a comment on my blog telling me what your favorite pattern is. I won't judge you regardless of which pattern you pick... swears.
This giveaway will be open until midnight on May 31, 2012 and then I shall randomly select the winner. Open to U.S. and Canadian residents only.

Good luck to everyone and remember, like Mama always says, "Life is like a bottle of chocolates. Drink up."


p.s. Thank you again EP for the lovely email you sent this morning. It truly did make my day and inspired me to finally get off my behind and post something.